I Keep Running From The Throne
by sanctuaries
Summary: Edward had already been at war, but this battlefield seemed to be even worse. A month has passed since the war between him and the homunculi ended and he returned home together with his brother, but somehow things didn't work out with a certain someone like he hoped they would. R&R.
1. 01: There's got to be more

So here it is, my first chapter of a (hopefully) pretty decent and long ff. I hope you'll enjoy it since its my first piece of writing that I seemed to be actually satisfied with. Constructive criticism is always welcome, as are reviews and rates! :)

Little side note: At some parts it may seems as if Ed is jealous of Al, but thats not the main point of the story. Nothing AlxWinry thingy is going on here.

**_Disclaimer:_ **All characters are created and owned by Hiromu Arakawa, and I do not claim any ownership over them or the world of Fullmetal Alchemist.

* * *

_**I Keep Running From The Throne  
**Chapter One: There's go to be more_

Ed was lying on his bed, gazing out of his window. It seemed as if this night would never end, as if something was keeping him awake to notice every little thing that was still living around him. The war between the homunculi, the military and him ended a month ago, but he still had the feeling that something terrible was about to happen. That something would change so drastically again, that he had to be prepared for it. But little could he know.

Edward listened to Al's soft snore, how he breathed the air out of his lungs with such an ease, that Ed feared he might stop every second. After all he knew that his little brother still struggled with his new body.  
While Ed also knew that things have gone back to normal, he wasn't satisfied with how things have been at Resembool.  
Every morning he'd get up to get breakfast with Al and auntie Pinako, then he'd be training with Al until late afternoon until he was so beaten down that all he could do was to continue with his research about eastern alchemy. He wasn't able to perform any kind of it anymore, but he wanted to know as much as possible to be safe.

But something was feeling weird. Or rather, someone.  
Ed had the feeling that Winry avoided him. He had no clue why, but something within his guts told him that something between them broke after he came back home. He had the feeling that Winry looked sad and abandoned, but whenever he tried to reach out for her, she'd flinch back.  
Maybe it was something that had happened when he was away, maybe it was something she'd rather not remember, or maybe it was because the war changed him. It was something, he had to find out.

* * *

When Ed woke up this morning, the first thing he noticed was the hot summer sun shining through his window right into his face.  
"Damn." he murmured. He was still sleepy as he didn't get much sleep that night. When he tried to get back to sleeping, he heard a soft laugh coming from outside his room.

"Al, you're too loud. You'll be waking your brother!" he heard a quiet voice still filled with laughter, say.

"He is still asleep anyway. You know how he is, Winry. Not even a train right in front of him could wake him up!" said the other voice with a chuckle.

"Come on Al, we really should prepare breakfast before granny comes home." Ed heard. And with that, silence returned back to his room.

'_Maybe that was my wake-up call._' Ed thought. He knew that Winry and his brother were more or less siblings as they grew up with each other, but because of how things were at the moment, he couldn't help but feel weird about them.  
Ed got up, fixed his t-shirt and boxer shorts, got out of his room and started walking downstairs. When he was halfway down, he saw Winry and Al standing in the kitchen, laughing while they prepared breakfast. Winry was roasting bacon while Al was setting the table.

"Good moooorning!" Ed shouted as he walked into the kitchen, putting on a smile that was more forced than real.

"Ah! Morning nii-san!" Al said happily as he placed the third plate onto the table. Ed looked over to Winry who just had turned to the stove again while mumbling a quiet and rather sad sounding "Morning, Ed."

"Mornin', Win." He said in a worried manner.

"What are you two up to today?", Ed asked his little brother, hoping to hear something that could brighten his mood, something, that could include him too.

"We wanted to head over to town after breakfast. Winry needs new screws, I believe.", Al said while looking over to Winry, who still stood in front of the stove even though the bacon should have been ready by now.

"Mind if I join you?" Ed asked Al, knowing that if he'd have turned with this question to Winry, she would have tried to find her way to get out of this trip.

"Of course not! I would have asked you anyway, I'm not too sure if I can accompany her today."  
And with that, Winry suddenly turned over and let out a loud "What! Why?" as she looked to Alphonse in horror.  
'_What is wrong with her?!_' Ed asked himself. '_Have I done anything to make her feel like spending time with me was such a horrible thing? Something to be scared of?_'

"You know, my legs still hurt a bit since I'm not used to walking all the time. I think the training with Ed yesterday killed me quite a bit!" Al let out a laugh.

"I'm not in a hurry, I don't need these stews today anyway. We could wait until tomorrow if you'd like to!" and while saying that, Winry's voice shacked a little.

"Nah, please go with brother, I think he needs something from town anyway, don't you, nii-san?" Al asked his brother who looked kind of off-guard.

"Ah, yes. I forgot that I need some…new…t-shirts! And you'd be a big help, Win. You know how I really don't like going shopping." Ed grinned, looking at her like he was pleading her to go with him. He knew that she couldn't say no anyway, it would be unlike her to act like that.

She managed to let out an "A-Alright then." before serving the bacon.

"I guess it's settled then!" Al said happily, looking over to his brother who seemed have his mood brighten. It was useless to try to lie to him anyway, he always knew what was going on inside Ed's head. They were too much alike, yet too different to not know when the other needed help.

When they seated themselves, the three said"Itadakimasu!" started to eat their breakfast . If Ed only knew what was going to happen that day, he might have tried to eat a little more.


	2. 02:And anger was the price that was paid

Here it is, chapter two. :) I had to write it in a bit of a rush to be honest, because I'm leaving tomorrow to go camping with my friends and I didn't want you guys to wait for one or two weeks to finally get a bit more into the plot. Bear with me, I tried to do my best. Have fun!

* * *

_**I Keep Running From The Throne  
**Chapter two: And anger was the price that was paid  
_

The road to town was as empty as always.  
Edward and Winry were walking silently beside each other while they crossed the hot countryside.  
Ed had the feeling that the sun would melt away his skin. There was nothing to afford the two of them some shade, and it could only be a matter of time until they were so stressed out by the sun that they would have to stop, even if it was just for a minute.

Edward kind of hoped for it. He hoped to stop so he could talk to Winry, to take the chance and ask her what damn thing was wrong with her. It was unlike his mechanic geek to not be happy and talkative, to enjoy the time they had together. It made him feel uneasy.

"Winry." Ed said, his arm crossed behind his neck. "We really should take a break."

She continued to walk further away from him, hesitating a moment just to bring out an "I really need to get to town as quickly as possible, Ed."

"But didn't you say that you don't need these screws today anyway?"

"I said that so Al wouldn't have to feel left behind or that he'd stress himself.", she said. '_She really doesn't want to be alone with me_', Ed thought frustrated as he let out a sigh.

But it wasn't yet the moment to ask her about her feelings, she clearly didn't want to talk about them. Sooner or later she had to anyway, because both of them couldn't resist the urge to bicker and banter for more than half a day. Ed thought that while they were in town, there had to be at least one moment that'd bring her to talk to him.

* * *

When they reached town, the streets were crowded. People of all kind were walking through the shops and alleys, their arms full with bags and drinks to endure the hot summer sun.

"I'll get us something to drink, you wait here." Said Ed. He knew that Winry could be stubborn sometimes, but it was way too hot to not accept the offer.

He left Winry and went into a shop. He knew what kind of drink she liked and he even wondered if he should get himself a cold milk just to see her smile again while he had to suffer. It was okay for him. As long as she was smiling, he knew that there was nothing wrong with the world. Just once. Just so he knew that she was still the Winry he had left to fight a war.  
When he came back, he saw that Winry was talking to a guy with an automail arm, both laughing and looking cheerful while he showed her his fine piece of work. Ed couldn't help but feel pissed. 'That bastard." He mumbled.

When he approached the two he knew that if he'd say something, hell would break loose. Edward didn't know why he was feeling this way, but he was way too uncomfortable with that feeling of being clueless. Winry's smile vanished within seconds once she saw him, while the guy was still looking as cheerful as a little kid that just got an ice cream.  
"Yo." Ed said, looking like he was about to smash something.  
"Your boyfriend?" the guy asked Winry.  
Ed felt a blush creeping to his face. But before he could say anything, Winry was already about to fly away as she fluttered so much with her arms that they almost looked like wings. She started to say things like: "Ah-a-eh…no, that's not my boyfriend", " Who'd think something like that, ah ahah…"

Ed couldn't help but feel taken aback. Was it so unlikely for the two of them being a couple? Was that something so unimaginably for Winry? Was it even something imaginable for Ed? "He's an old childhood friend of mine who just happened to…", Winry said and stopped for a second. She suddenly looked sad and her voice changed into a whisper, so soft that the guys had their troubles to understand her. "…just happened to come back home." She finished.  
"Ah! Well then, then I guess it's no problem. " The guy said with a smile on his face as he waved his hands in amusement. "I'm off now, Winry. Thanks for the good work, I'm making sure to stop by your house to get it checked properly. " And with that he placed a delightful kiss onto Winry's cheek, leaving her looking startled.  
_WAS THAT BASTARD BEING SERIOUS?_  
Edward took a step forward, grabbed the guys t-shirt and started yelling. "WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE? TAKING ADVANTAGE OF WIN- OF A GIRL. DON'T YOU HAVE ANY RESPECT TOWARDS WOMEN?"  
Ready to punch the guy while his anger rised, Edward could hardly restrain himself. His anger was about to boil over once he saw that the guy's facial expression change immediately. They were in the middle of the road and _he started to laugh_. '_Where is his self-respect?!_' Ed thought.

"Kiddo, I'm pretty sure I know Winry long enough by now to know that she doesn't mind that anymore."

Ed's grip loosened as did his countenance. He looked over to Winry who looked scared and was saying words he didn't hear, words _he didn't understand_.

'_She doesn't mind that anymore_', he repeated the sentence over and over again in his head and it still didn't make any sense to him.

"I'm so sorry, Calen!" said Winry hushed, took Ed by his arm and dragged him away into an alley. He was still stunned by what did just happen so that he struggled to transform his thoughts into words.

* * *

"Edward Elric! What was that?!" Winry was furious. She stood in front of Ed who sank onto the bottom of the ground, looking as if someone had drained every life out of him.

"I am perfectly able to defend myself if I feel the need to. I have learned that a long time ago while you weren't there!" she screamed at him, tears starting to well up in her eyes. "I am no longer a little girl, Ed. I can no longer wait for you only to be left behind again once you find a reason to leave by next train. This pain its-"

"Do you think I left because I was bored? Because I didn't want to be around you or auntie Pinako anymore?", Ed got up and looked into her eyes. He was angry. Angry with himself, angry with the world.

"I left because I had no other choice. I didn't want to drag you along with Al and me because it was dangerous, because I couldn't bare seeing you scared or in danger. I made these decisions because I wanted to keep you safe. I always want to keep you safe!" he yelled at her.

He promised not to make her cry again, ever. It hurt him to see her like that, it hurt him to know what she was thinking. Why was he acting like that? Why wasn't there a single thing he could do right? Why did he hurt her every time when all he wanted was to see her smile.

"How can you keep me safe when you're never around, Edward!" this time it was Winry who yelled at him. "I don't need anyone to keep me safe, I don't need any man to do that. I don't need Calen, I don't need anyone except you and it hurt me more than enough already. I'm done, do you hear me? I can't take it anymore!" her tears streamed down her face as she clutched her hands into fists.

Edward did expect to hear every explanation but that one. Did she really think he'd leave her again just to have fun? Did she really think that low of him?

"I'm not going to leave anymore, Win…", Ed said and approached her slowly. He knew that he couldn't make it right by promising one thing after the other, he had to prove it to her. But that would take a while.

"Are you…" he mumbled.

"No, Ed. I'm not in love with him. Idiot.", Winry said and wiped her tears away. She turned around and was about to leave when Ed tugged her shirt and pulled her in for a hug.

"I'm sorry, Winry." He whispered.

"I'm sorry too, Ed."

After all they both knew too well that life wasn't always fair.


	3. 03:You will see me through

Chapter 03 is finally out, yay! I'm really sorry it took me so long but I'm really into TS3 Island Paradise at the moment and get basically nothing done aside from my resort aha. This chapter is a little short, roughly about 1k words only, but I thought its a good way to end this chapter and leave you a little startled until ch04. Enjoy!  
_PS:_ Thank you for all the reviews, likes and follows so far, I really appreciate it!

**_Disclaimer:_ **All characters are created and owned by Hiromu Arakawa, and I do not claim any ownership over them or the world of Fullmetal Alchemist.

* * *

They didn't say a single word on their way back home. They silently walked beside each other with such a distance that a third person could easily fit in between. Ed knew that it wouldn't be easy to give Winry the feeling that everything would become normal now, now that they have won their war. But little did he know of a woman's feelings and her outbursts.

Once they reached home, Winry was the first to run up the stairs, close her door with a big bang and leave Ed startled on their front porch.  
"What have you done this time?" Pinako asked. She and Al were sitting at the kitchen table, preparing the dinner.

"_**WHY DOES IT ALWAYS HAVE TO BE ME WHO DID SOMETHING WRONG?!**__"_ Ed screamed.

"_**Well maybe because you're a bean-sized squirt with a bad temper**__?"_

''**BAD TEMPER HUH, LET ME-**''It was true that he had his difficulties when it came to handling his temper, but it wasn't his fault for things to be awkward and annoying. It was Winry's. She was the one to make all the fuss and to get kissed by a stranger. It was all Winry's-

"Ah, whatever. I'm going to my room." Ed hissed and went upstairs. He passed Winry's room and was about to knock when he realized what he just said. It wasn't his fault, was it? So why should he be the one to chase after her and apologize. When he entered his room he aimed straight for his bed. It was too early to take a good nap, but Ed was known for his ability to sleep whenever and wherever he wanted.

As he was trying to sleep, the image of Winry and this guy popped up in his head over and over again.  
'DAMN YOU, WINRY.' Ed thought and wanted to scream while he rubbed his eyes in hope the picture would remove itself from his head. Edward wasn't sure what he felt, but it sure as hell wasn't something he'd like to experience again. But how could he prevent that? He couldn't say 'No' to Winry if she was about to go out. He couldn't tell her to never meet a guy like _that_ again either. Even if he may wanted to.  
_'It's no good, that damn girl can do as she likes'_, and with that thought, Ed fell asleep.

* * *

He didn't open his eyes until he got firmly shaken awake by his brother.  
"Ed! Edward! Wake up dammit!" he heard Al say, but all he wanted to do was to sleep.  
"WAKE UP OR I WILL HAVE TO GET WINRY IN HERE!"  
Ed jumped to his feet. "Geez! Al! What in the world is wrong with you?" Ed murmured and rubbed his eyes. _'Why does everyone has to piss me off lately?'  
_

"I thought there was something going on downstairs and you might want to take care of it." His brother said, looking at him in a worried manner. "I know that you don't want to admit it to yourself, brother, but we both know that Winry takes up a pretty big space in our hearts, right?"

"Well of course I know that, she's our best friend!" Ed snarled. Al gave a sigh in Ed's direction. "Then it's our duty to protect her from whatever harm may come, but even so, we have to give her some space too. It's up to her to decide whether or not she wants to take the risk, right? Anyway nii-san, dinner's ready by the way. Hurry up."

Ed gave him his typical confused look. He knew that Al had his weird ways to tell him things but damn, if it's not about alchemy it's no use to crypt all his messages.  
When Ed stood up he noticed that there was a freshly ironed shirt hung up his chair. He wondered if Al had been putting it there of if it was Winry…but the mere thought seemed to be almost impossible. The old hag probably had used his little brother as a slave again to iron all the laundry there is. '_Why am I worrying so much about an ironed shirt? Geez, this house sure is making me crazy._'

He walked downstairs to find large portion rice on his plate.  
"Care to wait for us, chibi-bean?" Pinako teased.  
"Nah, I'm hungry!" Ed smacked. He had to admit, auntie can be a huge pain in the ass but she sure knows how to cook. He wondered where his milk was, though. There was always milk on the table. Always.  
It wasn't like he missed that damn bottle on the table, but it made him feel uneasy. Something wasn't right.  
"Yo auntie, are we out of milk?" He smirked and poked Pinako with his elbow. Al and Pinako both gave a sigh and starred at Ed. 'What? What did I do wrong this time?'

But then it hit him. Winry was the one to put the milk bottles on the table. She'd tease him about all day long, always. But there was no milk. And there was no Winry.  
"Uh…where is Winry?"  
"She has a customer to take care of, we'll be putting her me-"Pinako wasn't even able to finish her sentence before Ed rushed of.  
'_To take care of, to take care of, DAMN YOU AL. WHY DON'T YOU JUST SPEAK TO ME IN A LANGUAGE I UNDERSTAND_.' He ran up the stairs, and flung the door to Winry's workplace open. When he stepped in...

"Geez, he sure isn't the brightest, is he?" Pinako said to Al and both had a frustrated look on their faces. They knew what would happen once he'd step into the room. But both of them also knew that it was about time for Edward and Winry to face their feelings for good.


	4. 04:God Let Me See A Happy Dream

Hello folks, here's chapter four! I'm really sorry about the cliffhanger in chapter three but I just love to see my readers suffer! Yes, I'm that kinda author so prepare for the worst! Anyway, I really hope you enjoy this chapter and you leave me some reviews as it motivates me a lot! Thanks for reading IKRFTT!

**_Disclaimer:_ **All characters are created and owned by Hiromu Arakawa, and I do not claim any ownership over them or the world of Fullmetal Alchemist.

* * *

What to say, what to do, when you find yourself in that position?  
Is it okay to interferer? Is it okay to disturb something so important only because you find yourself troubled with it? Is it okay to be selfish when it comes to things like that?

Should he stop it?  
Should he be the one to be in that position?  
Why was he feeling like this? What were those feelings that passed the way of thinking things like "You're my best friend!"?  
Should he be…?

Could he be?

Edward found himself trembling out of the room he just stepped in. His expression was easy to read for everyone, yet for him it was impossible to conclude what was going on. He passed Pinako and Al, stepped outside the door and started to run.

"Edward!" Winry screamed from the second floor as she was running down the stairs.  
"Auntie, where is Edward?!"

"He left, I doubt you'd be able to reach-"and before Pinako was able to finish her sentence, Winry rushed out of the house.

* * *

'_I need to find him!_' Winry thought, unable to run any further. '_I won't give up, I won't. There are too many things left unsaid, too many misunderstandings!_' And so she pushed herself, ran even faster, ran to the point where she thought she might faint, until she spotted him.  
Edward was sitting under the tree that he, Winry and Al used to play under when they were kids.  
She knew that she would be finding him here. But did he know that she could?

"Baka! What do you think you're doing!" Winry screamed, tears were filling her eyes as she stood in front of him.  
Ed looked away, seriously pissed. "I didn't want to disturb the two of you, I'm sorry." he hissed.

"THERE WAS NOTHING TO BE DISTURBED OF!"

"WELL IT DIDN'T REALLY LOOK THAT WAY, DID IT?!"

Ed couldn't believe that she was still trying to deny everything. It was so blatantly obvious that the two of them…he didn't dare to even think of it. It was disgusting.

"I can't believe you're that dense!" Winry yelled.

"Hah! You're the one to talk! You were the one to tell me that there was nothing between the two of you! You flat out lied to me! I thought I was your best friend!"

"You…you seriously… WHY ARE YOU BEING SUCH A WEIRDO, YOU ARE MY BEST FRIEND!" Winry was about to hit him with her wrench but before she could do so, Ed grabbed her wrist.

"THEN WHY ARE YOU LYING TO ME!"

They both starred into each other's eyes, and Ed was still looking really angry. Winry's manner however, seemed to soften.

"I…I..." Winry began to stammer, "I…n-never lied to you, Ed."

"Pah! I hope you're happy with the outcome." Ed said, looking away from Winry. He wasn't supposed to give in now, he wasn't supposed to see her cry, he wasn't supposed to make her-

And suddenly it hit him. He was making her cry again. He of all the people who swore twice to never make her cry again.

He was being selfish. He was being selfish all the time. He promised to make things better and yet again all he did was making them worse. He could swear that Winry was better off without him.

"Winry… I think I should leave. Shouldn't I?"

She couldn't believe what she just heard. He…he didn't just say that.

"What are-, WHY ARE YOU- YOU PROMISED NOT TO LEAVE ME. YOU PROMISED. YOU PROMISED!" Tears welled up in her eyes and she couldn't hold it in anymore. She stood up and looked down to Edward, as her tears found their way.

"YOU CALL ME A LIAR AND YET YOU'RE NOT AWARE OF YOUR OWN PROMISES!" Winry cried out.  
Ed stood up and screamed back at her.  
"I'M IN YOUR WAY AND I KNOW THAT NOW. WHATEVER THE TWO OF YOU ARE PLANING, I DON'T WANT TO BE INVOLVED. I'M ONLY STANDING IN THE WAY, I-"

"YES, EDWARD, YES. FINALLY YOU REALISED HOW MUCH I DON'T WANT YOU HERE, THANK GOD. "

"FINE THEN!" He said, turning back, ready to walk away.

"You know Ed; the only one who's standing in your way is you. What am I supposed to be without you? Do you think I would put anyone above you, do you really think like that about me?" she whispered lout enough for him to hear. Her crying stopped and she looked lifeless, standing there underneath the tree with Ed, it could have been beautiful. But yet again it's turned into a nightmare.

"I don't. But maybe I thought too good about me…"

"COME TO YOUR SENSES, EDWARD!" she reached out for him, clutching his back. "Do you really think I agreed to marry him? Do you really think I want that kind of life?!"

"I think you want that kind of life that makes you feel save and happy, and if it's that way with him then its fine by me, I just can't bear to-"

"The life that makes me happy is a life that involves you. I don't need anybody else."


End file.
